Crazy Sock Day

Yesterday, I was completely surprised and flabbergasted to discover it was apparently "International Crazy Sock Day".  No, this is not a real thing.  My sister, J.J. Schambow, had the idea to ask all of her friends, my sister-in-law, Cathy's friends, my sister-in-law, Carrie's friends, my mom's, dad's, Matt's...basically everyone they could think of...to wear crazy socks in my honor.

Wow.  It was amazing.  To give a bit of an explanation as to why she chose to ask y'all to wear crazy socks: I like crazy socks.

Umm...you want to hear a little more about it?  Okay...I mentioned it on this blog a few months back in my post "Selfie".  AND, for Christmas this year Cathy had the idea that all of us girls would pick our "Favorite Thing" for under $10 to give to one another.  Of course, I chose to give...crazy socks!  I picked a pack of 10 "Bright Dots and Stripes" on Amazon.com and hoped that they would wear them mis-matched...which is what I do!

I am not sure how it progressed from there that my sister organized Crazy Sock Day, all I know is that it was a bonanza of amazingness.  Kyrie was home sick from school and so I was not allowed out of my room or near any of the children (Chemo reduces your ability to fight of infections and everyone wants to keep me healthy, which is so very nice!) - I spent almost the entire day replying to e-mails, making comments to facebook posts, saving pictures to my computer, and answering texts and phone calls.  It truly was crazy!

Thank you J.J. for organizing such a wonderful outpouring of love and support.  It was such a complete surprise and had me laughing, giggling, gawking, or crying all day long.  Thank you to you all for participating and making me feel so very blessed.  I know how blessed I am, but that sure did make me 100% aware of it in a moment-to-moment basis.  Very cool.

Here are a few of my favorites:

A friend of Dan Schambow's, Matt Juzenas, took this picture.  Love it!

A child of Teresa Favero made this picture.  So adorable!

When this one came in, I challenged people to beat it.  I don't think they knew that, but I was surprised to find that by the end of the day a few contenders had come in:

Pat Meyer organized these guys to actually make the shirts, put on the socks, and then brave the 1-degree weather to take the picture!

Matt's friend, David Rechlicz's wife, Kyle, is the Head Coach of the UW-Milwaukee Women's Basketball team and she got them together to take these pictures!  How cool!

Go Lady Panthers!

I saved all of the photos of your socks that came in and have decided that what we need is a montage. Warning: this is just a video of socks.  Socks, socks, and more socks.  There are some colorful socks. Some socks with stripes.  Some socks with polka dots or clever sayings.  There are some people acting funny wearing socks, and some dogs with socks on as well.  There are even some truly adorable chunky baby thighs leading down to baby socks.  But, when it comes down to it, it's a lot of socks.  An amazing amount of socks (I had 147 pictures in all!), but for the most part, all socks.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Something I have repeatedly thought over the last couple of months is, "Be careful what you wish for...it could come true."  Here is a list of things I once upon a time either wished for or had a fleeting thought about:

1. I wish I could wear one of those fancy hats.
2. I wish I could take a nap.
3. I wish I had better makeup and knew how to put it on.
4. I wish I had more time to spend with my friends.
5. I wish I could have a bit more time away from these demanding children.
6. I wish I had my own personal cook.
7. I wish I, like many celebrities, could stay home with my kids AND have a Nanny.
8. I wish my bra fit properly.
9. Now that we are finished producing children, I wish I didn't have to deal with this monthly pest.
10. I wish I didn't have quite so many stretch marks.

And here is how those wishes have come true, though not in the way I envisioned them:

1. I love the hats they wear in Downton Abbey!  I love the hats you see at the Kentucky Derby.  I love the hats Princess Kate wears.  I really like hats and always wished I was bold enough to wear them. Thanks cancer.
2. Almost every week day afternoon, I now take a nap...or at least lie down to read a book.  Thanks cancer.
3. In order to feel good about myself while bald and eyebrow-less, I now wear makeup.  Thanks to Cathy and my sister, I also (kind of) now know how to wear it.  Thanks cancer.
4. Every Monday, I am lucky enough to have several friends (and an amazing husband) come and sit with me while I receive my Chemo.  They are not always the same friends, they often switch from one time to another, but they are always awesome.  And while I want to spend time with them, gee, this is not how I envisioned that time.  Thanks cancer.
5. Every Monday, I get to spend 4-6 hours away from my kids...while at Chemo.  Thanks cancer.
6. I thought it would be cool if we could have one of those services that delivers your meals every day. Despite the fact that I am a stay-at-home mom mealtimes are always one of the most stressful times.  I am NOT a short-term planner - has never been a strong-suit with me.  So, I am constantly surprised when it turns 4pm and I should start "thinking" about dinner.  (Ha!  You should start cooking it, you moron!)  With boys who have allergies and a quirky daughter, bringing the Disney cafe to my kitchen has always been a fantasy of mine.  Now?  My wish has come true.  People bring us meals three times a week and they tend to be delicious and allergy-free.  And, I feel guilty as all get-out about their generosity and kindness.  Thanks cancer.
7. I am still a stay-at-home mom, but one who has A LOT less energy...especially when it comes to the "Can I have a snack?" "Can I have some water?" "Can I watch TV?  "What's for dinner?" "So-and-so stole my toy..."  "So-and-so won't move."  Ahhhhhh!  Now, my mom comes over almost every weekday and helps me out.  Which is SO appreciated.  But, the consequence - my poor mother probably now despises my children.  She hears every little whine, every bit of nagging, every awful fight, every nasty word.  I feel it is a major bummer for her.  But, me, essentially I now have a Nanny. Thanks cancer.
8. One of the biggest ironies to me in regards to what I like to refer to as "this whole thing" is that I have a small chest.  It's about to become smaller.  Thanks cancer.  But, in a strange, surreal twist, following the completion of "this whole thing", they would like to give me a new one.  And, they can make it (within reason) any size I'd like.  So, I can change my "nearly B" status (no seriously, the bras I used to purchase were actually called that.  No lie.) to a complete and total B.  Thanks cancer.
9. They have told me that there is a 50-50 chance for women with the Chemo I am on of going through menopause.  Thanks cancer.
10. For the most part, my stretch marks really don't bother me.  They are battle scars, war wounds, from having four children.  I love them, because, in some sense, they helped me to achieve these four prizes. But, occasionally, they bother me because, let's face it, they are ugly.  During the reconstruction process (still 1.5 years away), some or most of them may be "going away" as they are transferred to another area of my body, thus full-filling my dream of fitting properly into a bra.  Thanks cancer.

Yes, thank you, cancer.  In the future, when I have a fleeting wish fly through my head, I will be very careful to form that thought into something extremely more specific.  Be careful what you wish for!

1 Down, 11 To Go

The new regimen has begun.  I survived and maybe even thrived through my first round of Taxol.  It was a loooong day.  Here's the breakdown of what the first Monday of January, February and March (yeah...that IS my birthday.  Lovely.) what look like:

9:20am - Head out from home, hopefully
9:40am - Check in for labs
10:00am-ish - Called in for labs to check important blood levels, and get "approved" for Chemo
10:30am - Check in for Dr. appt.
11:00am - Get taken back for said appt.
11:20am - Actually see the doctor (first a nurse comes in and asks lots of questions, then a resident comes in and repeats most of those questions as well as shows me how my levels look, then there is lots of waiting in a thin gown and sometimes a warmed blanket for the doctor.)
11:30am - supposed to check-in for Chemo
11:50am - Actually check-in for Chemo
12:40pm - Called in for Chemo (they mix this stuff fresh and apparently it takes a little while, along with waiting for a chair to open up if they are busy)
12:50pm - Asked lots of questions by Chemo nurse
1:00pm - Pre-med drip (Benadryl, Pepcid, steroids, and saline)
1:20/30pm - Taxol Drip
2:30pm-ish - Done!

This first time it took till more like 3pm, since they had to check my blood pressure every 15 minutes and Matt was in rare form, being very distracting to the nurse - Jenny, you didn't help either!  :-)  (Did we not take any pictures???  No popsicles!)  But, we made it fun, as usual.  They warned me the Benadryl in the pre-drip might make me sleepy and it pretty much did.  I had a hard time concentrating on what Matt and Jenny were saying and I felt a little drunk as some of my words came out slurred or backward or just plain wrong.  But, we soldiered through.

The nice thing about this Cycle is that the Taxol is supposed to be less harsh; causing less fatigue and little to no nausea.  Yay!  I didn't take any additional meds last evening and I haven't had to take any today, so far.  Sweet!  Hopefully, we can make it through with no additional meds for the next 11 weeks!  That would be awesome!!!!  I did go to bed upon arriving home, but that was mostly cuz I felt a little drunk and sleepy.

So, now we go every Monday for the next 11 weeks.  That seems like a lot to me, but I guess if it is going to be easier it shouldn't be so bad.  The next three Mondays we only do Labs and Chemo; no Dr. Appt. so that will make those days go a lot faster.

As always, thank you SO much for your prayers and support.  The doc did say that he felt like the tumor had gotten smaller again - now under 1cm.  The resident even said maybe as low as .5cm, so those prayers are working!  Please continue to pray for a complete response as well as for it to have pulled away from the chest wall....I guess if I have a complete response then it will, by definition have gone from the chest wall, but it never hurts to be thorough.

Hope everyone has had a good start to the new year.  Let's get these kids back to school already!  But, stay warm!!!!

P.S.  Many back posts will hopefully be coming soon.  The new computer may finally be up and running properly and I may even have figured out how to work it.  Sheesh!!!

Happy New Year!

I wrote that title yesterday...and then nothing else.  Yes, it's been awhile. I have a ton of things I would like to share...but not enough time to share them in AND accomplish all the other things I want to while feeling somewhat good and also have four children home for Christmas Break.  And, no, my kids did not go back to school today like all you wusses (just kidding...kind of) out there.  My kids, for some wonderful and awful reason have a full two weeks-plus off of school.  And, it's crazy-town here.

Despite that, I would like to wish you all a very Merry, Happy New Year!  As my sister said, let this be the year that goes down on the record as the year that we kicked cancer's a$$.  (Sorry Lauren, avert your eyes on that one...  But, as a dear mentor of mine of mine has indicated, cancer is one of the only things in life worth swearing about.  Thank you, Lynda McDowell, I could not agree more.)

It has been a horrible/terrific break depending on which moment in time you choose to freeze in this house.  I have been tired, of course, but have managed to stay healthy (so far!) despite all of our children coming down with the stomach flu.  It has moved ever-so slowly through our house -- Lari, the Friday after Christmas, Declan and Hugo on Sunday, and then Kyrie on New Year's day.  It has made crazy-town even crazier, especially when Hugo was sick.  Poor baby just wanted to snuggle with his Mommy....and, for this exact reason, I was quarantined to my bedroom by Matt and my Mom, who just want to keep me healthy.  My baby boy and I were reunited on Tuesday morning, after two-plus days apart and my mom going over the house with Clorox wipes.  Still, it seems that every time my poor Mom disinfects the entire house, another kid comes down with this nastiness.  Luckily, she has not.  Please, Lord, spare my Mom from this!

And now, it seems like an entire Chemo and Christmas break has been wasted on dealing with laundry and cleaning up after kids and that the countdown to a new course of Chemo has begun.  Sigh.  We had big dreams of ice-skating and Build-a-Bear, pretzels and Icees, and Lego playdates.  We wrote down a whole list of things we wanted to accomplish with this blessed time.  Can you tell I am a bit frustrated?!

So...here's to hoping, wishing, and praying that the last three days we have been granted go according to plan and that we actually get to cross off a few of the things on the list!  And, if this round of Chemo truly is easier then I am looking forward to even more days of spending quality time with these children that I love, despite the fact that they have made my house look like a war-zone, have whined till I have felt like my ears are bleeding, have caused Matt to do about 20 loads of laundry in one very long week, and have probably made my mother wish she had her job back. 

Yup, Happy New Year, everyone!

Really?!

In my efforts to "setup" Kyrie's Christmas present last evening, I inadvertently deleted almost ALL my iPhone contacts.  This is some serious bad luck, since our laptop with all e-mail addresses died last week.  So...I have no way of e-mailing everyone I know to tell them to send me their contact information.  What?!  Are you kidding me.  I obviously have some kind of brain malfunction going on.

Anyway...if you have my cell number and are a person I regularly contact via text or phone calls (book club members and school friends, that's you) and are also NOT immediate family (I didn't delete those, since I thought Kyrie should have them...), please go to your own contact info, if you have a smart phone, and choose "Share Contact" and then text or e-mail it to me.  Please!  I can't believe I did this.

Feeling Ridiculous,
Kelly

I'm Ba-ack!

I know you didn't know this, but my laptop died this week!  As a result, I have not been able to blog for the past several days.  So annoying.  But, my fantastic husband showed up with a new laptop yesterday evening!  I am so spoiled, I know, but boy did we both miss having a computer for the last couple of days.  iPhones are wonderful, but they just can't accomplish quite everything as cheerfully as a computer. Shew!

That being said, it has not been the easiest of weeks.  As usual, after my B treatment, I did not feel super-great for two days.  I don't feel awful - there is no threat of losing my lunch, really.  I just feel kind of drunk.  If you know me, you will know that I may have an occasional drink, but I never get drunk.  I really hate the feeling.  So, feeling dizzy and tired for two days is not my cup of tea.  My mom and Matt allowed me to mostly rest up in bed, but unfortunately the mom-duty called on Wednesday night and I was forced out of my confinement to our church Christmas Pageant.  Which was hysterical and possibly the best one I have been to as my niece played Mary and my son played Joseph.  They stole the show when Mary dropped the baby Jesus and Joseph decided to lounge on the job.  I will try and add some photos soon, but alas, I am struggling to get to know my new computer.  (My have these things changed in the last five years.  This thing has a touch screen!  And the startup window is SO different now.)

On Thursday, I was feeling much better.  But, I had to get dolled-up once again to go out for The Berrall-Kons Group Christmas dinner.  It was a lot of fun, but exhausting for me, and I made my husband take me hone at 7:15pm.  Good thing, because that night HE came down with some kind of virus and was up all night coughing and tossing.  Add that to Declan's asthma attacks and this Mommy got approximately two hours of sleep.

Friday was not a good day.  I had some lower-back pain all week and was pretty certain it was my kidneys.  We decided to call my wonderful nurses to speak about it, since I really didn't want to enter the week of Christmas worried about anything and they decided I should come in for a lab test and some fluids.  Thankfully, the lab tests were negative for any kind of infection or other problem, so I felt a little silly being there, but the fluids (and IV drip for over two hours) did fix my kidney pain.  And, since we ran into Dena while there, she cheered me up hugely by telling me that many patients on my chemo regimen come in for fluids on their very first week and every week after.  She felt the fluids could only help me.  You always know what I need to hear, Dena!  Thank you!

And, since Matt was not well the evening before I forbade him from coming to the hospital and exposing other cancer patients to his nastiness.  Luckily for me, my friend Steph is off of work for a few weeks and she was kind enough to go with me.  We had a nice time talking, although my brain was malfunctioning (I hope from sleep-deprivation and not chemo-brain, which apparently may be a real thing), so I sometimes was not making the best sense.  Steph is such a trooper!  She is also a great advocate, telling the nurse things she knew were important.  I am so blessed to have her as a friend.

It was not the best of weeks, but in the end, it turned out great and I am feeling a ton better, not just physically but mentally as well.  I did not want to go back to the hospital yesterday, but it turned out to be for the best.  Plus, I had several awesome things waiting for me on my return.  The first of which was a card from Pastor Krysta Deede.  It said such wonderful and nice things - it just made my heart lighter.  Thank you SO much, Krysta.  And then, an e-mail from a friend, Bridgett Manteufel. It was so good to hear from you, Bridgett!  Thank you so much for all your words.  So nice!  And then, this laptop appeared!  Awe-some!  Thank you, Mattie!  You add those to the gratefulness I was feeling towards my mom and Steph and all family that texted and called to check in on me (oh! And, the phone call from Beth that cheered me up early on), and a week that started out looking kind of bleak, turned into a thing of wonderfulness.

Christmas is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year", but it often turns into just too much pressure, stress, and despair.  I hope that we can all take the time to forget about the perfect presents for a few minutes and reflect on the greatest gift ever given - the birth of Jesus.

(And, happy children home for Christmas break, everyone!  Good luck!!!!  Yikes!)

Comment Posting

I realize there is some kind of problem, whereby, definitely mobile users are not able to comment, and possibly other users as well.  I tried to adjust some settings.  No idea if it will work.  Please attempt to make a comment, if you have had trouble before.  If it doesn't work and you could get word to my mom, sister, sisters-in-law, etc. that would be helpful - I am hesitant to put my e-mail address online, but if you know, you can definitely send me an e-mail as well.  I will keep trying!!!!

Thank you!