A Monday

So...I am sure there was a reason I made this face in this photo, but because it is now actually over a week later that I am posting it...I can no longer remember why...  I guess that is good, hey?!

On Mondays, I have extra-long radiation sessions due to the x-rays they take, but I can't imagine that is why the straight face instead of the smile.  Oh well...it's a mystery.  Here is my Monday photo.

21 down.  Nine to go!

Door Made of Lead

And for today's selfie, I would like to show you the amazingly thick door that stands between the radiation room (is there a proper name for this room, girls?) and the rest of the world.  Here it is...

Kacia and Courtney got out some measuring tape - it is two feet thick!

Here is my selfie in front of this protective door.

So here are my thoughts about this door...I am glad it is there.  I mean, it keeps everyone protected from the dangerous (cancer-causing!) radiation.  The radiation that no one, in their right mind, wants to be exposed to.  It keeps the people outside safe.  For those of us inside, it represents just what we are willing to do to get rid of this awful disease called cancer.  We are willing to lie on hard tables for a half-hour (20 minutes?), while they turn on that disgusting radiation (which is actually only on for 30 seconds at a time, but still...) and close that giant door, thereby trapping us inside with the stuff that no one else wants to be near.  In my worst moments (luckily only lasted for like 20 seconds) on that table in that room I wondered if they have ever had one of the machines malfunction and someone was stuck inside with the radiation and the door closed tightly.  I am fairly certain the answer is "No" but I am still too afraid to ask.  I don't want to know the answer to that question.  I am trusting the powers-that-be that when I get on that table and have my chin strapped down that all will be well and all will work properly.  I am trusting my L1 Girls to hit the right buttons and line everything up proper (though I do my best to distract them) and make certain it is all okay before they shut that door.  I am trusting that door to do its job and to keep everyone outside safe, but I am also trusting that if something went wrong and I ripped that damn (sorry!) strap off my chin and ran to that door that I would, indeed, be able to slide it open and escape that terrible-wonderful room.  And yes, I have envisioned doing that.  And, no, I have never come close to trying.  My arm may have twitched once in response to the thought, but I closed my eyes or looked at the pretty tulips or listened to the fun music and thought about something else.  Because even though the radiation in harmful, for some reason it is supposed to be helpful to me and that means that as I am lying there wondering where my help comes from I can also think about the miracle of radiation and the added percentages it gives me towards a recurrence-free life.  

So, thank you radiation for your ridiculousness.  And, thank you, Froedtert and L1 Girls for keeping everyone safe.  But, watch out people - if that machine buzzes for more than 33-ish seconds, we are gonna find out just how strong I am!

P.S.  Yes, I like to be dramatic.  In all honesty, I don't think that door even locks when the girls leave the room.  And, even though it is massive, I believe it slides fairly easily - I never hear anyone grunt while opening it as they come into the room...  Huh!  Unless it is automatic and locks super-quiet while the buzzing is happening and then slides open automatically so the girls don't even have to do it?!?!  Oh no!!!  Is it automatic?!  No.  No, it's not.  I know it isn't.  It isn't...right?

BFF Selfie!

Beth is in town!  And she joined me for a little radiation today!  Okay, she didn't, of course, actually join me in getting radiated, but she came in the back with me and met some of the L1 Girls.  We had lunch in the bistro after radiation and even watched a bit of the World Cup from one of the lounges while we enjoyed our Portabella Mushroom sandwiches.  What a great way to do radiation!!!

Well, Finally...

Okay, so I got a little behind on the selfies.  I am going to back-post them anyway, since I did actually take the selfies on these dates...I just didn't get around to posting them.

I had wanted to do a "series" this week on the machine and the equipment and all of those fun things, but have been crazy busy between kids schedules, my radiation schedule, and fighting the desire to go to bed every night at about 8pm.  But, here is what I took in preparation for it...

Here is an awesome picture that Kacia took of the machine from my perspective as I lie on the table.  I can't actually see my reflection, but close too it.  I can generally see the warm blanket they place over me (I am a cold-ilocks!).  But, I thought this was a pretty cool selfie for today.

So that window that you see my reflection in is where the radiation comes from.  There are like these keys that line up to allow the radiation through in the correct pattern for my body.  Those tortuous CT scans and x-rays I have had make certain that the radiation is pointing at the right stuff and not too much of the wrong stuff.  Dr. Wilson showed me a nifty picture of how the radiation hits a small slice of my heart and lungs, but not much.  They do their best to minimize that - thank you - we appreciate that, kindly!

The round can-lights are where the lights that create the numbers and axes on my body to line the machine up shine from.  Once I am radiated from above, the machine moves to also radiate me from below.  Then I see this above me, instead of the machine:

Unfortunately, this peaceful scene is just slightly out of my eye-line, but if I squint enough I can enjoy the thought of siting in a tulip-filled garden.  For some reason, it reminds me of my grandma's backyard.  I think it is the trees that remind me of the woods behind her house.

But, this is more accurately what I can actually see.  Darn.  Oh well.  The girls have fun playing different music for me, so I enjoy that, instead!

The Damn (Sorry) Chinstrap

Is chinstrap one word or two?  My spellcheck is not catching it, so we are going to go with one. 

Here it is, folks. The infamous, damned (sorry) chinstrap. 

I have to tell you, smiling in that thing is not easy. Not because it pains me to smile with it on, but rather because it actually hurts to smile with it on!  It digs into my chin and neck. Still, it was a lot worse before they cut the bottom away. It used to feel like I was choking. So glad we got that fixed!

And here is a picture of the lights they shine upon me (with appropriate parts covered or cut from the frame) to line my body up with the machine. If you look closely, you can see my dot tattoo in the center where the axes meet. 

If there's time, maybe tomorrow we will get some video. If not, maybe my view from the machine. Fun!

Vlog Brothers Selfie

Over the weekend, I started the post about how we adopted a puppy, and then...I don't know...  Life happened, or something. I am working on it, I swear.

I wanted to start a series this week focused on the actual workings of radiation, but I was not in the best mindset today. Matt's grandma Eileen passed away last week at the age of 94 and her funeral was today. I missed most of it (due to radiation), but got to attend the meal with many Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. It was quite an event!  She was quite the lady.

So, instead of a radiations-workings pic, I took a Vlog Brothers-esque Selfie. You may not think you know who or what the Vlog Brothers are, but if you have read the book or seen the movie "The Fault In Our Stars", then you know half of the Brothers Green - John. Hank is the other brother and they have a  YouTube video series they began back in 2007. They are excellent videos. I encourage you to watch some (it would take a lifetime to watch them all). One thing they often do, is cut off most of their faces and just show their eyes. So, without further ado, my Vlog Brothers Selfie:

I feel like my eyes look beady... Or cross-eyed or something. Not my favorite, but oh well, here it is. 

Another Day

Since it is another busy day in the Kons' House, I am posting this even before I go to radiation.  A.k.a. I have the time right now.  On today's agenda - another Pine Lake Camp trip as it is already time to go back and get Kyrie.  I feel like camp should be a bit longer than two days when you are talking about a four-hour total car ride to go and get her and bring her home.  Maybe one extra day between those car trips would've been nice.  But, that's what's gotta be done today and so I will head to radiation again, this time with Sue to accompany me and then we will go and pick up Stacie, and the three of us will head out to get the girls.  Because there is a short program at pick-up, we will likely need to stop for dinner on the way home and thus our arrival time back at the 'stead won't be until at least 7:30pm at my best guess.  

And, I think the radiation fatigue has started to kick in.  I find myself yawning profusely at around 6pm these days.  I turned the light off last night at 9:30pm, but then had trouble sleeping - that doesn't help matters!  I don't think I got to sleep till at least 11:30pm, which isn't so bad, but I could've used those other two hours on top of it.  Oh well.  We soldier on.  Maybe there will be some rest this weekend (ROTF).

Happy Half-way!!!!!  Only 15 more to go!