Really?!

In my efforts to "setup" Kyrie's Christmas present last evening, I inadvertently deleted almost ALL my iPhone contacts.  This is some serious bad luck, since our laptop with all e-mail addresses died last week.  So...I have no way of e-mailing everyone I know to tell them to send me their contact information.  What?!  Are you kidding me.  I obviously have some kind of brain malfunction going on.

Anyway...if you have my cell number and are a person I regularly contact via text or phone calls (book club members and school friends, that's you) and are also NOT immediate family (I didn't delete those, since I thought Kyrie should have them...), please go to your own contact info, if you have a smart phone, and choose "Share Contact" and then text or e-mail it to me.  Please!  I can't believe I did this.

Feeling Ridiculous,
Kelly

I'm Ba-ack!

I know you didn't know this, but my laptop died this week!  As a result, I have not been able to blog for the past several days.  So annoying.  But, my fantastic husband showed up with a new laptop yesterday evening!  I am so spoiled, I know, but boy did we both miss having a computer for the last couple of days.  iPhones are wonderful, but they just can't accomplish quite everything as cheerfully as a computer. Shew!

That being said, it has not been the easiest of weeks.  As usual, after my B treatment, I did not feel super-great for two days.  I don't feel awful - there is no threat of losing my lunch, really.  I just feel kind of drunk.  If you know me, you will know that I may have an occasional drink, but I never get drunk.  I really hate the feeling.  So, feeling dizzy and tired for two days is not my cup of tea.  My mom and Matt allowed me to mostly rest up in bed, but unfortunately the mom-duty called on Wednesday night and I was forced out of my confinement to our church Christmas Pageant.  Which was hysterical and possibly the best one I have been to as my niece played Mary and my son played Joseph.  They stole the show when Mary dropped the baby Jesus and Joseph decided to lounge on the job.  I will try and add some photos soon, but alas, I am struggling to get to know my new computer.  (My have these things changed in the last five years.  This thing has a touch screen!  And the startup window is SO different now.)

On Thursday, I was feeling much better.  But, I had to get dolled-up once again to go out for The Berrall-Kons Group Christmas dinner.  It was a lot of fun, but exhausting for me, and I made my husband take me hone at 7:15pm.  Good thing, because that night HE came down with some kind of virus and was up all night coughing and tossing.  Add that to Declan's asthma attacks and this Mommy got approximately two hours of sleep.

Friday was not a good day.  I had some lower-back pain all week and was pretty certain it was my kidneys.  We decided to call my wonderful nurses to speak about it, since I really didn't want to enter the week of Christmas worried about anything and they decided I should come in for a lab test and some fluids.  Thankfully, the lab tests were negative for any kind of infection or other problem, so I felt a little silly being there, but the fluids (and IV drip for over two hours) did fix my kidney pain.  And, since we ran into Dena while there, she cheered me up hugely by telling me that many patients on my chemo regimen come in for fluids on their very first week and every week after.  She felt the fluids could only help me.  You always know what I need to hear, Dena!  Thank you!

And, since Matt was not well the evening before I forbade him from coming to the hospital and exposing other cancer patients to his nastiness.  Luckily for me, my friend Steph is off of work for a few weeks and she was kind enough to go with me.  We had a nice time talking, although my brain was malfunctioning (I hope from sleep-deprivation and not chemo-brain, which apparently may be a real thing), so I sometimes was not making the best sense.  Steph is such a trooper!  She is also a great advocate, telling the nurse things she knew were important.  I am so blessed to have her as a friend.

It was not the best of weeks, but in the end, it turned out great and I am feeling a ton better, not just physically but mentally as well.  I did not want to go back to the hospital yesterday, but it turned out to be for the best.  Plus, I had several awesome things waiting for me on my return.  The first of which was a card from Pastor Krysta Deede.  It said such wonderful and nice things - it just made my heart lighter.  Thank you SO much, Krysta.  And then, an e-mail from a friend, Bridgett Manteufel. It was so good to hear from you, Bridgett!  Thank you so much for all your words.  So nice!  And then, this laptop appeared!  Awe-some!  Thank you, Mattie!  You add those to the gratefulness I was feeling towards my mom and Steph and all family that texted and called to check in on me (oh! And, the phone call from Beth that cheered me up early on), and a week that started out looking kind of bleak, turned into a thing of wonderfulness.

Christmas is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year", but it often turns into just too much pressure, stress, and despair.  I hope that we can all take the time to forget about the perfect presents for a few minutes and reflect on the greatest gift ever given - the birth of Jesus.

(And, happy children home for Christmas break, everyone!  Good luck!!!!  Yikes!)

Comment Posting

I realize there is some kind of problem, whereby, definitely mobile users are not able to comment, and possibly other users as well.  I tried to adjust some settings.  No idea if it will work.  Please attempt to make a comment, if you have had trouble before.  If it doesn't work and you could get word to my mom, sister, sisters-in-law, etc. that would be helpful - I am hesitant to put my e-mail address online, but if you know, you can definitely send me an e-mail as well.  I will keep trying!!!!

Thank you!

4A Yay!

Approved for round 4A, this morning with neutrophil levels that tripled between Monday and today.  Woo hoo!  (Yeah...apparently it was my neutrophil levels that were low, not just my lymphocytes.  Still working on all of this fun terminology.)   Moving on though, we even managed to get in a bit early - Fridays are so much quieter there, wow!  We had a wonderful nurse, named Heather.  She and Heather-Heather (Schwar) would get confused as to who we were talking to; fun.

It seemed to go by very fast today.  We didn't even get in any games.  Just did a lot of talking and catching up, which was super-awesome.  I love hearing about everyone's lives and just chit-chatting.  Oh!  And Dena stopped by, which I always love, love, love.  She has such great advice and good things to say.  I think everyone could use a dietician to visit them occasionally!  Why do I never get a picture of Dena?!  Dena, we are doing this next time!

Here is a popsicle toast to my last FEC treatment (5-FU, Epirubicin, and Cytoxan - Yay!):

And because we finished earlier than usual, Matt and I decided to have some lunch at City Market.  Mmmmmm...  Dena, please pay particular attention to the many colors of the rainbow on my flatbread pizza.  Super good.

And, Matt had a really good-looking bacon avocado salad, which I didn't even get a chance to try.

You may notice the bracelet I am wearing in the picture of my pizza.  Carrie Kons sent me a beautiful Legacy bracelet many weeks ago.  After we got our family pictures back, I contacted them to see if they could add our family photo and they were so nice.  They did it for free!  I got it back yesterday and was excited to wear it today.  The receptionists both noticed it and took a look at it.  It was fun!  All of my children, nieces, nephews, siblings, parents, and parents-in-law, are pictured on the bracelet. It is really cool!

Finally, I received, at my head-shaving party, a beautiful necklace from my sister.  It says on it, "Look fear in the face and do the thing you think you cannot do."  Although, we agreed to change it in our heads to, "Look fear in the face and do the thing you do not want to do."

Then, just a few weeks ago, the Beck family (and I think Mrs. Beck, in particular?) sent me this beautiful necklace with several discs on it, all which have an encouraging word on them and a saying on the back. 

 

(For some reason, I cannot get this picture to rotate):

I placed all five discs on one necklace and wore it to the hospital today.  Our nurse noticed it and when I was finished with my treatment, she brought this to me:

Apparently, when you finish a course(?), round (?) of chemo, they give you this pendant!  Technically, I don't finish till Monday, when I do round 4B, but she was so excited when she saw my necklace that she wanted to give it to me.  How nice!!!!  So, now I can add Journey to my encouraging phrases!  So cool!

(Ugh, this one refuses to rotate as well!)

It seems so weird to say that you enjoyed a day that they pumped you full of toxic chemicals, but I did.  I am very blessed.

I am off to bed now.  This round kind of kicked my butt, like Thursdays normally do.  I am done in.  Good night!!!

Some Awesomeness

I received this in the mail today from my six-year old niece, Amelia:

 

(Why is the blogger system rotating my photos? Anyone?)

Amelia, thank you for the beautiful picture! I just love it and am keeping it with all of the other wonderful cards I have received so that when I have a not-so-good day, I can reach in and pick out some words of encouragement! Thank you!!!

Hiccough (Hiccup)

A slight setback in the overall plan... My lymphocyte levels were too low today to do Chemo.  This is a bummer, since I was already there and set to go and would've liked to get this round over with.  BUT, and I want to be pretty clear on this, the Doc did not seem overly concerned.  She said that "this happens".  And, that waiting a few extra days for Chemo is not going to change anything, other than that it gives my body a few extra days to recover from the effects of Chemo to my immune system.

So...while I am super-bummed since this pretty much revokes my "Rock Star" status, I am trying to look on the bright side of things:

1. It means I won't feel sick at Kyrie's orchestra concert on Thursday
2. It means I get a few extra days off of feeling pretty good.
3. It means I should feel pretty good this coming weekend since I am on all the wunder-drugs.

We have rescheduled Round 4A for Friday, which will take up most of the day, then.  And then 4B will be on Monday.  So, unfortunately, I will probably not feel the best on Tuesday and Wednesday.  But luckily, we don't have much going on on Tuesday and hopefully I will be feeling better by the kids church pageant on Wednesday evening.  Even if I don't, I will be sucking it up (Buttercup!) because I cannot miss that - Declan is going to be Joseph!

It was a bit of a rough day, since I didn't take this news all that well after having a hard time with crazy kids early on in the morning.  But, the doctor did convince me that this is not a big deal, so I am choosing to see it that way.  No pictures of the fun, since there was none, but I did take a picture of the Breast Cancer Center Christmas tree.  I thought it was very pretty.

Oh!  The other silver lining - my husband took me out to lunch at The Chancery.  It was nice to have that quiet time with him and to enjoy some delicious food that didn't taste weird or off.

Hmm...but the black(?) lining - I don't feel like I deserve these beautiful flowers that were waiting for me upon our return.  I guess I will have to endeavor to earn them on Friday instead.  Thank you, Matthew.

What?! More Awesomeness?!

When my mother arrived this morning she came bearing gifts!  Great minds think alike and that is true in this instance.  Longtime friends of our family, Keith and Dede Marty sent us a poinsettia plant!  Look how beautiful my family room looks with these two plants!  How cool!  Not only that, the Marty's sent us a beautiful card and an extremely generous Visa Gift Card.  Thank you so much, Martys.  You have always been so good to our family.  Thank you for being so good to me.

 

I also talked to Steph last night (she sent us the other poinsettia plant) and she told me how she saw one at her Drs. office and had never seen a pink poinsettia before.  She loved it so much and said when she saw it she knew she had to send me one.  We definitely love pink here!  Thank you, Steph!

 

And...my Dad's Aunt and her daughter were nice enough to send us this fruit basket.  Awe-some!  There are pears and apples, kiwis and grapefruit, and even a pomegranate in this thing.  Umm...and did I mention the chocolate?!  Godiva truffles and chocolate-covered pretzels.  Wow, you know the way to this girls heart!  Thank you so much Aunt Beverly and Cousin Jacque!  So unnecessary and so very generous and wonderful.  Thank you!

Lots of Awesomeness

There has been a lot of awesomeness this week.  Crazy.  First, Matt's cousin, Dawn, who was not feeling good still managed to make us a truly beautiful dinner...of tacos!  How do you make a beautiful dinner of tacos?!  Like this:

Yum!  The tacos were delicious!  And, the fruit.  Wow!!!  Dawn, Matt and I loved the chips and cheese add-on from your kids.  So good!  Umm...and ice cream for dessert?  I don't think it could get any better.  Thank you so much, Dawn!  We hope you are feeling better and that the week has been full of good news for you!!!

 

Then...Declan's preschool teacher from last year brought over a gift basket for me from her and a former preschool teacher of Kyrie.  It was so neat.  Full of fun hats to wear!  And, lotion, and cards, and note paper.  So fun!  I wish I had taken a picture of the basket, because it was beautiful, but we kind of ripped it apart really fast trying on all of the hats.  Here are some pics:

 

 

 



So fun!  Thank you so much, Ms. Bruders and Mrs. Kveen!

I forgot to mention the wonderful brat dinner the Brandels made us on Monday as well.  I have no pictures of that, because the kids scarfed it down so fast.  These guys just love brats.  So bizarre.

Okay, backtracking a bit to last Saturday, Cathy's family sent me yet another present - a beautiful book called "Fight On" as well as a necklace, a motivational sign, that goes perfectly with the one Cathy had already given me, some aloe socks (interesting!), a nail file (I always need these) and some nail polish.  It was such a nice thing for them to do.  Here is a collage of some of the pages in the book - such beautiful photos and great sayings.  I know I will be looking at it often.

Finally, I was so surprised when the doorbell rang today with a flower delivery. My very good friend, Steph, sent me this beautiful poinsettia plant!

Thank you, Steph, and Bondioli family!  We are definitely in the Christmas spirit around here now!  So pretty!

Kelly's Army Playlist

I knew there was something I forgot yesterday.  I had more to say under the category of "And More".  Here's what it was...

Matt made me a Kelly's Army playlist for my iPhone/Pod.  I merely mentioned to him that it might be fun to copy this CD for others and within two days he came home with all of the supplies.  So...if you are interested in a Kelly's Army CD, please let me know.  Here is the playlist:

• Marry Me 3:25 Train Save Me, San Francisco (Bonus Track Version) Pop  
• God Gave Me You 3:50 Blake Shelton Red River Blue (Deluxe Version) Country 
• Gone, Gone, Gone 3:30 Phillip Phillips The World from the Side of the Moon (Deluxe) Pop 
• Holy Ground 3:23 Taylor Swift Red Country & Folk  12
• I'm Going to Love You Through It 3:49 Martina McBride    
• One More Day 3:36 Diamond Rio Diamond Rio: 16 Biggest Hits Country  1
• It's Time 4:00 Imagine Dragons Night Visions Alternative  
• One Step At a Time 3:25 Jordin Sparks Jordin Sparks Pop  
• Who I Am 4:15 Jessica Andrews Who I Am Country  
• F**kin' Perfect 3:34 P!nk F**kin' Perfect (Perfect) - Single Pop (The clean version!)
• Radioactive 3:07 Imagine Dragons Night Visions Alternative  
• Fighter 4:06 Christina Aguilera Stripped Pop  
• Roar 3:44 Katy Perry Roar Pop  1
• Fly (feat. Rihanna) 3:33 Nicki Minaj Pink Friday (Deluxe Edition) R&B/Soul  
• Survivor 4:14 Destiny's Child Survivor Pop  
• Skyscraper 3:41 Demi Lovato Unbroken Pop  
• Ordinary Miracle 3:04 Sarah McLachlan Rarities, B-Sides and Other Stuff, Vol. 2 Alternative  1
• Healer (Live) 7:05 Hillsong Live This Is Our God (Live) Christian & Gospel  3
• The Hurt & The Healer 4:50 MercyMe The Hurt & The Healer Christian & Gospel  2
• Here I Am 5:48 Marvin Sapp Here I Am (Deluxe Version) Christian & Gospel  

That was probably more information than you wanted, but it was easiest to just copy and paste from iTunes and this is what it gave me!

I would like to add that number 17 on the playlist, "Ordinary Miracle" by Sarah McLachlan has become kind of special to me.  Lariska was home sick one day and was watching the movie "Charlotte's Web".  This song played during the closing credits and I said to Matt, "Why isn't that on my CD?" (jerk that I am).  He immediately added it to my list, realizing that I obviously liked it mucho. 

You can hear it on YouTube as well.  I like this song because I am hopeful that someday curing or preventing cancer will be just another ordinary miracle.  This song is not only beautiful, it gives me a lot of hope.

If you would like a copy of the Kelly's Army CD, please let us know!

P.S.  Cathy also made me an awesome CD - "Kick It Kelly".  I love it as well.  I can also make copies of that for anyone interested.  But, I don't have the list of songs.

Some Awesomeness and More

Let's do the "more" before the awesomeness, actually.  I wrote the other day asking why no one comments on the site.  Turns out, I had it set that only registered users could comment.  Whoops.  Sorry about that.  I have changed it and now you should be able to comment anonymously without having a Google account or other (but, if you would sign your name, I would really appreciate it!).  Yay!  Hope it works!!!

Now for some awesomeness.  Check out the cookies my neighbor (and a book club member) made for us today.  Holy moly!

There is a batch of chocolate chip cookies there, labeled "just for Kelly" (Love!), as well as another batch of chocolate chip cookies, but with no milk or egg, as well as frosted cookies with no milk or egg and finally kolache cookies.  I have tried them all and they are all delicious.  Can you believe Angela and her mom worked so hard today?!  They made A LOT of cookies!!!  Thank you so much for sharing them with us!!!

Kons Family Chaos

This is the first year in quite some time that we sent out Thanksgiving Cards without a family "newsletter" or "update" or whatever you would like to call it.  There were many reasons it did not happen, mostly related to running out of time before the cards needed to be sent, but now that Thanksgiving is here I am sad it didn't happen.  We have so much to be thankful for.  So, I have decided to just write this year's Kons Family Chaos as a blog post.

The Kons Family Chaos  Volume 10 (I think)

Twenty-thirteen has not been the easiest year in the Kons Family.  It has been wrought with new challenges and obstacles.  But, despite these challenges, we have never felt so blessed.  So, without further ado, here are the top thirteen things I am thankful for in 2013.

1. My husband.  As you know, in late September, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  During the most frightening week of our lives, Matt kept a calm demeanor, made countless phone calls, sat in on disturbing appointments, held my hand, and was just truly my rock.  Now, two months later, he continues to be my champion - he has stepped up, doing lots of the housework, more of the mom-duties, and just generally taking care of all of us.  He is amazing and I couldn't be more thankful that I have a partner in life who is the definition of what it means to be a "good man".
2. My Mom.  When we found out the bad news, my mom went into church the next day (where she worked) and quit her job.  She has been at my house every weekday since.  Her new job, apparently -- taking care of me.  And, wow, has she.  Actually, she mostly takes care of our children, but that is what I need the most right now, in order to be taken care of.  Many people have referred to my mom as a saint, but I don't think they truly know.  She really is.  I am so thankful to have her as a role model, care taker, and friend.  She is amazing.
3. My kids.  Oh boy, these kids are challenging.  Some days, I wonder if they caused me to lose my hair.  But, geez, do they make me laugh and smile.  The thing they give me is the drive to fight this thing.  It was never an option not to, but they make it all worth it.  I want to be there for every ridiculous moment of their lives.  I can't wait to move past this challenging time so I can focus more on just enjoying them again.  I am continually filled with a sense of wonder at their individual personalities, quirks, abilities, and gifts.  I thank God for trusting me enough to be their mom.
4. My family.  Everyone in my family has been so great.  Baby-sitting.  Making soup.  Going to Chemo with me.  Giving me encouraging words.  Giving me all kinds of stuff.  Perhaps the greatest thing they give to me is how they make sure that everyone continues to pray for me.  They share news with their friends and mine, with people I've never met and who have become a part of "Kelly's Army".  They have been there for me every step of the way and I am so grateful that Matt and I have such amazing siblings and parents.  We are so blessed.
5. My friend, Beth.  Beth lives all the way out in Sacramento, CA, but has found ways to be there for me, always.  In this instance, she has organized meal-bringing for our family.  This has been such a blessing.  My energy levels are not what they used to be and I am so grateful that so many people have brought us such delicious, nutritious, allergy-free, food.  My jaw drops three times a week.  Not only that, Beth flew to WI last week just to go to Chemo with me.  She is amazing.  I am so thankful for her love and support.
6. My book club.  How can I describe this group of women?  They are so much more than just a book club.  They are movie-buddies, and travel companions, prayer warriors, and technology geeks.  They are like my second family.  When we started this group over five years ago, I had no idea if it would even last.  Now, I don't know what I do without these ladies.  They keep me sane and real and feeling alive.  I never have as much fun as I do with them.  I am so thankful we all met and that you all brought others into the group and that we have expanded into such an unlikely bunch of friends.  It is really the coolest thing to me.
7. My husband's Sheepshead group.  I am so thankful that Matt has such wonderful friends.  Honestly, I don't think everyone can say that.  These guys give Matt the outlet he needs, while supporting him in a lovingly, yet manly manner.  All of these guys have such great hearts.  And great wives!  Though the wives of the BS Club do not regularly get together (hey, why don't we?!), we have some kind of bond via our husbands.  We roll our eyes at them and laugh at their good-naturedness.  It's lots of fun.
8. My church(es).  Because our kids are still pretty young, Matt and I have not had as much of a chance to get as involved at ECUMC as we were at our old church (OLUMC).  Naptimes and bedtimes seem to get in the way of Bible Studies and social groups.  But, we make it a point to be there almost every Sunday and our children are in the choirs and attend Sunday School, so I suppose we are involved via them (as opposed to on our own as we used to be).  I guess this is why I feel so amazed at the amount of support they have given to us.  Meals and cards, gift baskets, phone calls, visits...so much!  If I don't know them personally, my mom does, and because they love her, I guess they love me.  Wow!  But, not only have the people of ECUMC stepped up to help us out, so have the people of OLUMC, and BDUMC, and...church friends from these older churches who have also moved to new churches have gotten their churches involved in praying for me.  If I had to take a guess, I would say that there are at least twenty churches praying for me, quite possibly many more that I am just not aware of.  Sheesh, that is amazing and so wonderful.  Thank you all for every moment spent asking God to heal me.  He is listening and you are magnificent!
9. Matt's job.  We are so blessed not only that Matt has a good job, insurance, and a place he likes to go to every day, but also that he works with my father and brother.  As far as co-workers go, they could not be more understanding about his plight.  Matt now makes the kids lunches in the morning, and gets them to school when their cello needs a ride or they have early morning Spanish class.  This tends to make him late for work.  I am so fortunate that my Dad and brother are okay with this.  It makes my life so much less stressful.  Not only that, Matt likes where he works and who he works with and the people he works for.  That makes such a difference in life.  Thank God for "The Berrall Kons Group", Bill Berrall and Casey Berrall, and all of their clients!
10. Medical professionals.  I am not going to limit this to just my medical professionals.  Our family had another health crisis(? that may be a bit strong.  I am not sure.) earlier in the year when Hugo spent two days in the hospital for asthma.  I kid you not, at one point I felt like the two nurses looking over him and then at me gave me the sorrowful eyes of death.  I felt like they were giving up on him and were trying to find a way with their eyes to show me sympathy for his eventual demise.  Thank God for people who don't give up and helped Hugo to fight his asthma.  It was a very scary two days holding my normally super-active child who had become very still in his effort just to breathe in and out.  I don't think he was out of my arms during that time for longer than 10 minutes.  And, thank God for miracle medicines; steroids, and inhalers, Chemo (ugh) and antibiotics.  Thank you for superb pediatricians, funny oncologists, smiley surgeons, kind lab people, and nurturing nurses.  You all amaze me.  Thank you for putting up with us crazy mothers and patients.  It can't be easy!
11. A warm house.  Functioning vehicles.  Food on the table.  Books to read.  Toys to play with.  Clothes to wear.  Coats and hats and boots and more hats.  Pictures to smile at and cameras to take them with.  A pretty Christmas tree and soon enough, presents to go beneath it.  A snuggly comforter, and pretty duvet cover to beautify it.  Water to drink and refrigerators to keep it cold.  Ice and ovens and microwaves, computers and iPads, and iPhones and things to keep us entertained.  Pajama pants and silly socks.  Have I mentioned hats?  All somewhat simple.  All, I am profoundly grateful for.
12. My TV.  Yup, this gets its own category.  We have never had a TV in our bedroom before, but Matt went out and bought one the week after my diagnosis.  Almost every night now, we try and watch a light-hearted comedy before going to bed.  Believe it or not, I sleep better with this laughter on my mind.  And when I don't feel good, I have somewhere to lie down and just veg for a few hours.  I still love to read, but more often now when I am a bit dizzy or just plain tired, reading is not the thing to do.  I love my TV.  I love the husband who bought it for me.
13. And finally, I am, of course, thankful for you.  Do you know that I have had a family blog for well over 8 years now?  In that time, according to the site statistics, that website has had a little over 20,000 pageviews.  In the two months that I have had this blog, I have received almost 15,000 pageviews.  Holy moly!  That's insane! Who are all you people?!  Thank you so much for caring about me, my family, our health, our fight.  Thank you for your prayers and your support.  I am so thankful for you.  (And, by the way, would love to know who is all visiting this site.  Why do you not make comments?  You do not need a Google account.  Just choose "anonymous" but then sign your name at the end of your comment.)  Thank you all, so much.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

With all our love and gratitude,
Kelly & Matt
Kyrie, Lariska, Declan, and Hugo

Kons Cousins Kickin' Cancer

Wow, this post is way overdue.  On Sunday, November 18th Matt's cousin, Dawn Kons, was super-awesome and threw a party in my honor that she called The Kons Cousins Kickin' Cancer.  Matt's cousin, Lucy, came and dyed pink hair streaks for anyone who wanted one and not only did many of Matt's cousins come to the party, several Aunts came as well.  Those who could not make it all said they would wear pink that day.  How cool!

Everything at the party was pink.  Pink bread, pink candy, pink snacks, pink favors even.  I brought the girls with me and Dawn even gave them some pink feather boas to wear.  It was so nice to catch up with several of the cousins and to just sit and enjoy a leisurely time with such wonderful people.

Thank you so much, Dawn!  What a truly wonderful thing to do.

Lucy, dyeing cousin Felicia's hair.

 The food!

 A group photo (Carrie Kons and Aunt Janet missed being in the pic)

Hmmm...I don't think I was there for this portion of the afternoon.  Looks good!

Carrie, Aunt Marcia, Kyrie, Lari, and me

Cousin Dawn receiving finishing touches

Lari being goofy

 More hair being streaked.  Fun!!!

Whoops!

I am so sorry I have not posted in so long!  I have many excuses (mostly centered around having four kids, not feeling super-energetic, and the like), but really what good are excuses?  No good.  So, I will just say I am sorry and add that all is well.

To give you a very general update, I felt somewhat lousy last Friday (it's my worst day - the Friday after the Thursday chemo).  Then Matt left to go hunting over the weekend and I was super-crabby.  And, my mother always told me that if you don't have something good to say, don't say it all.  Actually, maybe that was my father???  Regardless, I didn't have much good to say this weekend, other than I was extremely grateful to my mother-in-law, Linda, for taking the girls for the weekend.  And, to my sister, J.J. for taking the boys for a few hours Saturday morning and Declan for most of the afternoon as well - and for taking Declan for a few hours on Sunday, too.  And to Heather Schwar and her girls, Julia and Katie, for coming to entertain Hugo for several hours Saturday evening!  And, to my dad, Bill, for getting Declan to a birthday party on Sunday.  These things helped big-time. 

I wanted Matt to go and have fun with his Dad and brother and cousins and uncles, but on the Saturday after chemo I am still not feeling quite right (very dizzy), and I was feeling a bit abandoned.  The boys are just so in-your-face, and that does not mix well with dizziness.  I really only had them by myself for like a total of 10 hours this weekend, but boy, they weren't easy during those hours.  I am so blessed that so many people helped during those other hours!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And now, if it's okay with you, I will do some "back-posting"  I will pretend I actually posted last week and finish the updates I should have done back then.  If you scroll down, you should be able to see those posts soon.

Thank you!!!!

Thursday, Ugh.

Can I just say that every third Thursday is not my favorite?  It's really not.  The treatment is quick and easy, it's just that I know that the next day I am not going to feel so hot, so I have quickly come to semi-dread this day.  Still, I had my mom, Steph, and sister, J.J. come with me to make it better and easier and they so did.  J. took these photos of me.  I think she thought I looked pretty bundled up in my coat and warm blanket - it was cold, people!  (Do you like my hat?)

 

And, eating cold popsicles does not help!  But, my tongue was super-red and that needed to be documented.

After the treatment, we headed down to the café for some lunch and I think that actually helped me to feel better.  Thank you, Steph, mom, and J.J. for coming with me and keeping it light-hearted and fun.  (Why didn't we get any pics of you guys?!)  And, thank you, Linda, for babysitting!!!

Monday Pics and Info

So, on Monday, November 18th, I had my third round of Chemo.  While, I do not really look forward to getting Chemo, I was kind of looking forward to this day because my oldest and bestest friend, Beth (Mergener) Lawson, flew all the way from California just to come to Chemo with me.  My closest and other bestest friends, Heather (Whitman) Schwar and Jenny Rybarczyk, also came to Chemo with me, and we were planning to have an epic board game.  Laugh all you want, it is a Lego game based on Harry Potter, but really is just a game of strategy, that is extremely fun to play (involving being mean to your opponents while the board is continually changing).  Beth had never played before and I was really looking forward to what I felt was a legendary gathering.  Yeah...I am a bit silly.

Anyway, can you believe Beth won the game?!  Ridiculous.  I have a feeling Jenny and she teamed up while I was busy receiving toxic chemicals. I can't prove anything, but the feeling was in the air.

At our doctor appointment earlier that morning, we learned that the tumor had shrunk again.  Dr. Cheng then told us this new terminology - "Complete Response".  If I understand this correctly, now that we know I have a "minimal response" to Chemo, we can hope for a Complete Response, which would be the cancer "completely melting away".  It sounds like if this happens, then the future prognosis is even better - a better chance the cancer will not return.

Boy, would I like this.  Please put all of your praying power into this happening!  Not to mention, I vaguely mention Dr. Kong (surgeon) saying something about how they have a party when this happens.  I want a party!!!

Complete response.  Complete response.  Complete response.  Complete response.  Complete response.  Complete response.  Complete response!

And now, for some pictures:

The gang, complete with popsicles.

 Co-conspirators Beth and Jenny

 

Here you can see a bit more of the game

Notice Matt's awesome shirt.

 

The "Sew and Sews" at church made me this Chemo Cap that matched my shirt (which Lisa Maas sent me) so nicely.  Thank you!

And, when I got home....more flowers from my sweet husband.  Thank you, Matthew!

Ruby Tuesday

It is so odd that the day after Monday Chemo (so yeah, Tuesday), I actually feel pretty good.  I know it is the wunder-drugs they give me.  One of which is, apparently, a steroid.  But, it sure was an awesome thing this week! 

Long back-story:  My sister-in-law, Carrie's, mom's neighbor (did you follow that?), heard from Carrie's mom, my story.  It sounds like she was very sympathetic to our family and wanted to do something for us.  So...she gave Carrie's mom $100 to give to us.  What?!?!  Wow!!!!

Carrie brought this money with her to our last book club gathering and it engendered a somewhat philosophical conversation (well, it was for me, anyway).  I felt that my family is extremely blessed.  Matt has a good job.  We have insurance.  Yes, this whole nonsense is costing us a pretty penny (which means a sacrifice somewhere else in our monetary lives), but at least we have the means to pay for it.  We are not going broke.  As such, I felt like I should take this money and donate it to cancer research, or to someone who needs it more than we do.

I was surprised that almost everyone disagreed.  They felt, pretty strongly, that this woman (her name is Renee) gave the money, because she wanted me to have it and that I needed to spend it on something that would make me happy.  Carrie knew I had been looking at some Downton Abbey-esque hats on Etsy and that they were extremely expensive.  No way I could justify the cost for a hat.  Carrie said, "Now you can get one of the hats you wanted."  Umm...wow.

Fast-forward now to Beth being in town.  She heard the story as well.  I showed her some of the hats I had been looking at.  She, being extremely clever, did an internet search and discovered there was a store downtown, Anthropologie, that carried some felt hats.  Thus, a field trip was planned.

We headed to the Third Ward, had a grand time at Anthropologie, where I did find a beautiful felt hat, for a lot less expensive than the ones on Etsy, and some presents for some others as well.  (Oh, and Beth and I got matching "Happy Socks"!)  Then, we headed to Café Benelux where we had the most delicious lunch - we shared hamburger sliders and a four-cheese grilled sandwich with bacon and avocado.  Yummmm!   And topped off our day with a stop at Trader Joe's where they sell lots of allergy-free stuff for my boys as well as some extremely superb chocolate.

What a wonderful day!!!  Thank you, Beth, for getting me out on the town!  Thank you, Mom, for babysitting Hugo!  Thank you, Erin Wurtzbacher, for taking Declan home and keeping him for a playdate, which meant I was able to stay out for lunch and not have to come back to pick up, Declan.  It was such a fantastic day.  Thank you!!!

Beth enjoying some tea at Café Benelux - this is a classic-Beth facial expression.  I love it.

 

And now smiling about her tea.

 

And, me, enjoying my hot chocolate!

And here is my new hat!  (Sorry, no make-up or "chemo costume" when I took this picture.)  But, isn't it cute?  I wore it to Thursday Chemo and received several compliments, including a suggestion that I wear it to the Kentucky Derby, which I loved, since I would really love to go the Kentucky Derby someday.  Yay!  A future use for this hat as well!!!

Thank you, Renee, if you read this blog.  I just love it.

Quickie Post

Very quickly (and I will add more later):

- Round 3A complete.  Woo hoo!
- Tumor shrunk again!!!  1cm x 1cm now.  Tiny!
- New terminology - "Complete Response" - this would be the best as it would mean the chemo got rid of all of the cancer even before the surgery.  We would really like this as it means better prognosis for future.  Please pray for "Complete Response"

More later!!!  Lots of pictures as Beth came in from California just to go to Chemo with me.  We had a great time, despite the grumpy nurse.

Can't wait to share more, but I am off to enjoy some time with my friend while she is here for just this last day today.

Lots of love!!!
Kelly

Some Awesomeness

My sister made us these caramel, pretzel chocolate chip cookies.  They are seriously made of a little piece of heaven.  Thank you, J.J.

Confession

When I first received my diagnosis, I have to admit that I received a lot of sympathetic looks and pity stares.  Which I have to say kinda confused me.  I felt like, yes, this is bad, but it could be worse, and I don't intend to give in, and I have every intention of being around for Hugo's high school graduation and to babysit my grandchildren and all that jazz.  Plus, I am not one (in general) to feel overly sorry for myself.  If there is a problem to face, my general attitude is to face it head on; find a solution, solve it, and move on.

I think it was a few weeks ago now that I suddenly realized why all the sympathy...  I believe it was on a day that my mom left a little earlier than she usually does, and it was a good hour before Matt would be home from work.  Kyrie and Lari arrived home from school and Hugo and Declan were running around.  Kyrie probably started asking me incessantly what she could have for a snack, and Declan was probably pretending to be Jay, the blue Ninja, and Hugo was more than likely taking the phone off the hook and dialing China, while Lariska was crying or whining about how someone said something mean to her (Declan or Kyrie, take your pick).  I would've been tired.  And, it was likely on a day when we did not receive a meal and so I needed to start figuring out dinner and just the thought of listening to kids say, "___ again?!" (I mean, do kids ever not complain about eating leftovers?  It doesn't matter if it was the best meal ever, if you try and feed it to them again the next day you are going to get an earful.) made me bang my head against an imaginary wall. And, all of a sudden I felt really sorry for myself and wanted the pity party to begin.  I also just wanted to go lie down on my bed and sleep for a year.

I have yet to get mad about this whole situation.  I figure it is going to happen eventually, but since I have mostly remained in denial about the seriousness of all of this (and I intend to stay that way as long as possible, since it is a much happier place to be) and since I firmly believe that God does not give people cancer, I am not sure exactly what or who to be mad at.  Plus, blaming people or deities doesn't really get you anywhere or change anything.  And since anger takes a whole lot of energy, something I am not particularly stocked up on these days, I think I will just try and avoid this stage for as long as possible.

So...in the middle of trying to balance our already chaotic life, you throw cancer into the mix, and what you get is one very tired Mommy.  Not angry, not sad, not entirely mindless, not 100% crazed, just physically tired, and a bit heart-weary.

And, the ridiculous thing about facing this head-on is that the "moving on" stage is a minimum of 2 years away - 24 weeks of chemo, then surgery with a month to recover, then 6 weeks of radiation, then a year (hopefully!) off, and then reconstructive surgery and 6-8 weeks of more recovery time.  Sheesh!  What the heck?!

Stupid cancer.

"Suck it up, Buttercup!"  (Thank you, Jenny!)  Here is the silver lining that Jeanne told me I would find - I am so blessed to have these four crazy children.  They may have weird quirks and issues with ridiculous things, but they are my children and I love them.  I wanted every single one of them and I am so lucky to have them.  So, even though they exhaust me to the Nth degree, I still feel so fortunate to have them and so blessed to be their mom.  They make me laugh and they make me cry and I love them so much.  So, who needs sleep?  It's over-rated.  I choose these guys.