- Needles.
- Drugs.
- Bananas.
- Being naked in front of strangers.
- Anyone other than my husband touching my body in places only my husband should be touching my body.
- Needles in those places.
- Being alone in dark places.
- Chocolate-covered spaghetti
- Children jumping out from behind me and saying "boo!"
- Laundry
The weekend has been surreal. A blur of near-panicked fear, to laughter with friends, to completely losing my sense of humor with my family (sorry family). I think I should probably add to the list of things I would avoid -- facing my family after receiving awful news that changes not just my life, but theirs. I feel really bad about changing their lives. I really wanted nothing to do with going and seeing them all, but I'm glad I did.
I know they are in my corner and only want the best for me. I feel their love and concern. I just hate that I am the object of any concern at all. I like to be inconspicuous. I like to be semi-invisible. If attention is in my direction, I like it to be because of shared laughter.
I hope I can do them proud. They sure make me proud.
Thank you Jeannie, Bill, Linda, Mike, JJ, Dan, Mark, Carrie, Casey, Cathy, Tim, Rose, Jim, Jean, Harry, and Matt. You are seriously the absolute best. And, I love you all.
I know having the attention on you is hard. I could see it on your face as you entered your parents' house last night that you didn't want all eyes to be on you.
ReplyDeleteYou are strong, brave, and already make your family proud. Your name means "Warrior" and you are going to beat this ugly thing! We love you!!
I knew it too my dear daughter. I know you don't want all this attention, and if I could take it away....we all know my dreams. Not fair my love, but you will endure, you will make it through this trial and you will be a better person on the other side of this awful ugly disease. That goes for the rest of my fantastic family
ReplyDeleteKelly, please, please don't ever be sorry for anything. I cannot even approach the correct words to construct, but please know that you are not alone in this battle. You were there for me in my darkest hour, and I only hope that I can reciprocate. My prayers for you, Matt, Kyrie, Lariska, Declan, and Hugo are continuous. God bless you all!
ReplyDelete