Surgery

I am hoping to come back and add to the "Quick Version" update that I posted a few days ago, including some photos of our New York trip.  But, before I have the opportunity to do that, I would like to update you on the coming events(?) of this week.

We had our pre-surgery educational meeting today and learned several things.  First, I will, indeed, be spending the night in the hospital.  I can't decide how I feel about this.  I vacillate between being bummed about it - I don't sleep well in hospitals; they annoy you constantly - and being okay with it - it means I don't have to worry about kids jumping on me or worrying about seeing me in pain, etc.  I guess I am going to come down on the side of being okay with it, since I don't really have a choice.

Second, I have to be at the hospital at 5am on Wednesday.  5 AM!!!!  Say what?!  Argh!  This is super-un-thrilling.  At 7am, I will be having some kind of procedure whereby a radiologist will insert a guiding wire to the tumor for the surgeon to follow.  They tell me this is good news - it means the tumor is so small that she can't feel it by simple palpation.  But, at the moment it doesn't feel like very good news. I don't like extra procedures.  Especially the kind that require more needles and while you are awake.  The surgery itself will be begin at 8:30am and take approximately two hours. Ugh.  SO not looking forward to this.

After the surgery, I will not be able to lift more than 10 lbs. for quite some time (sorry, Hugo).  I will not be able to sleep on my right side.  I will have a drain for the fluids that will collect due to the lymph node removal.  I will have to actually drain this drain once or twice a day, lucky me.  I will not be able to lift my arms above my head, until I get approval to do so.  I will more than likely have to have physical therapy to get my arm movement back. AND (my favorite), I will have to be mindful of cuts, scrapes, burns (including sun burn), and the like on my right arm for the rest of my life.  Yes, you heard that right - for the rest of my life.  Major or minor, it could apparently cause my arm to swell up like a balloon, due to the lack of lymph nodes...and that would be bad.

Seeing as how I plan to live to be a hundred, being "mindful" of my arm for the rest of my life means that I will have to live with this issue longer than I have actually enjoyed a normal, perfectly functioning right arm  Can you imagine my disgust and annoyance with this?  I really am trying not to ask all of the "why" questions, but when I hear the words "for the rest of your life" it is hard not to question the why of it.  Then again... I would rather deal with it, than the alternative.  Then again, again, I would rather be perfectly healthy and not be having to think about any of this at all.  And then, as I would tell my children, I would also like to live in a world where horses fly, and unicorns were real.  So yeah...

Moving on...I am looking forward to being past this stage of the cancer-kicking game.  As I told Matt, I am just going to concentrate on Thursday, when it will all be over.  Possibly, I should concentrate on June, instead, but then I will be in the radiation-stage and I probably won't be enjoying that so much, either.  So, Thursday it is.

Please say a prayer for Dr. Kong, the radiologist, the nurses and anesthesiologists, my husband, children, mom and I as we face the fun that will be my Lumpectomy this Wednesday, April 23rd.  Thank you!!!!!