The Easy Part

What is the saying..."Life is what happens while your making other plans."  Yeah...life.  It keeps happening to me.  But, I guess that's a good thing!

Yesterday evening I received a call from Froedtert saying that they had gotten my Radiation referral and did I want to come in on Thursday (umm..tomorrow) to do the "Sim" (???) and meet with my Radiation Oncologist?  Umm...what?!  I had already been there Monday (surgeon), Wednesday (bouncing) and now they wanted me to come back on Thursday?!  My initial thought was, "No way, Jose!" but after talking to Matt, we decided it would be better to just get it over with and get the ball rolling so that I can start radiation sooner rather than later and have less to accomplish over the summer months when ALL FOUR kids will be home.  So...yeah...  I was already going to Froedtert anyway for an appointment with the Physical Therapist at 4pm, but I was looking forward to that appointment!

Anyway, point being, I did some more Froedtert bouncing today.  Here's how it went:

1:00pm -- Arrive at labs for a pregnancy test. Yes, despite my assurances that there was no way in hell I was pregnant, they required a pregnancy test.  What frustrated/angered me the most about this is that I went in expecting having to give a urine sample and instead found out they required a blood sample.  Huh?!  A bit of overkill, don't you think?!  And, thanks to them for not mentioning that to me.  I have this cool portkey thing for a reason - I can put lidocaine cream over it and then when they access it, I do not feel a thing.  But, when they don't tell me...well, then it hurts.  So, thanks for that, guys.

1:30pm -- Meet with the Radiation Nurse for some education on radiation.  Basically this is what it boils down to -- There are two side effects to radiation:

1. Skin irritation
2. Fatigue

Both are cumulative.  So, for the first two weeks I probably won't notice much.  After that my skin will start to tan and eventually redden and maybe even burn.  And, by week four I will be pretty tired.  "Not, you can't get out bed tired, but Chemo kind of tired...where you want to go to bed early."  Sigh.  I just started gaining my energy back(-ish).  Plus, because they are cumulative the effects won't wear off for at least 10 days after the last radiation appointment.

And so therefore to help with these two side effects, I should:

1. Stay out of the sun (Hey, did anyone else notice that summer is coming up here quickly?)
2. Apply lotion to my skin every night
3. Exercise (Ha!  Please refer to the Physical Therapist portion of this post, to see why that is funny.)

2:30pm -- Meet with my Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Wilson.  Dr. Wilson is very sweet (he is about to retire) and kind, but I can't help but internally roll my eyes at him.  Every time we meet he says, "This is the easy part!" in a jolly voice and with a great big smile.  I told Matt that he doesn't realize how often people curse his name when he says things like that, because...

They then proceeded to take me to a CT scan in another room, where I was naked from the waist up.  They had me lie down on a very hard, thin slab o' plastic, put my (very sore from surgery) arm over my head and into a cradle-thing, position my body exactly perfectly while my arm fell asleep and started buzzing, put a wet mesh thing over my chin that then hardened into a hard cast-like thing that kept my neck and head in place, drew all over my body...and then said, "We're almost finished.  You just have to stay still for five-ish minutes while we put you in the CT scan."  Okay.  Medieval.  Torture.

I am not prone to panic attacks.  I have never had to stop a single test they have done on me yet, but I tell you what...I came close with this one.  My neck and chin were fused into position and my arm was buzzing painfully and they slid me into this donut hole and I thought for a few seconds that I had to get out.  I HAD to get out.  I closed my eyes and started singing in my head, but even that didn't work.  I opened my eyes and counted.  Didn't work.  I only got to 15.  I closed my eyes and sang again.  I switched songs.  I switched songs again.  I thought about the buzzing.  I thought about how I needed to swallow and this thing on my chin was preventing it and if I did swallow did that mean I didn't hold still?  I swallowed.  And then I swallowed again.  I felt a little better.  I sang some more.  The machine spun around me.  I moved through it and then back again, the shadows changing under my eyelids as they came through the other side.  I swallowed again.  I breathed.  I swallowed again.  I breathed some more.  I continued to breathe. And finally it was over.  Longest five minutes(ish) of my life.

Only it didn't end there.

They left my arm buzzing in the cradle, while they cleaned my skin in three different spots, then poured ink over those spots, and then pushed a needle into those spots to give me tattoos so they could line the machines up exactly again in the future.  Oh.  And, then there was one more to do on the other side of my body.  One in each side.  Not so bad.  One in the tummy, worse, but not so bad.  One in the sternum.  Ouch!  Are you kidding?!  This is the easy part?!  Curses, Dr. Wilson.  Curses.

I was finally allowed out of the torture contraption, allowed to get dressed and escorted back to my husband.  He was working on a puzzle in the waiting room. I worked on it, too.  I felt a little better. I placed more pieces than Matt and then felt even better.  Matt walked me to my Physical Therapy appointment and we said goodbye and he headed home to help feed the kiddos dinner.

4:00pm -- I met with Diane Keller and she asked about my SIM and sharing the experience with her made me feel even a bit better yet.  I think I am going to love this woman.  She asked me some questions, the best one being, "What do we need to get you back to?  What kinds of things do you need your arm for?"  I stared at her blankly for way too long before finally saying to her, "You know, I wish I could tell you I need to play tennis or something fun like that, but really I just need to be able to pick up my son and open the car door."  She laughed and said that it was super-funny to her because she should have remembered the last time she had a woman in there who had four kids...and she basically said the same thing.  And here's where we come to why exercising is kinda funny as something to help with the side effects of radiation...like there's time for exercise...especially when all of my imaginary free-time is going to things like radiation appointments, surgery, and physical therapy.  BUT, there was good news.  She said that walking outside with the kids for 20 minutes counts.  That actually sounds really nice.  Can someone write that down on a prescription pad?  And, weather, could you please cooperate?!

After that, I laid down on a bed while she massaged my surgery scar, entire arm, and side.  It was SO nice.  And a bit weird as apparently my nerves are all messed up after the surgery and so it would cause this tingling down my side.  But, she said that was good.  She was teaching my nerves how to fire properly again.  My scapula (shoulder blade) is also apparently pretty messed up, turning outward when it's not supposed to, which is why opening car doors has not been easy.  This happens to about 25% of people who have the surgery I did and is completely fixable.  So that was good news.

I now have homework for my arm, but that's not so bad.  I already feel like I can move my arm better than I could before the appointment.  Amazing.

I finally arrived home, close to 6pm.  Ate dinner.  Helped with bedtime.  And crashed into bed once again.  I am hoping no one calls me tonight and tells me they want to torture me tomorrow.  They will hear a loud "NO" reverberating in their ear if they even try.

And again I say, goodnight.