2B

There is no question.  2B is the answer.

And, today marked the end of Treatment 2B.  Boo Yah!  Well...maybe...these B Cycles seem to wear me out.  Of course, that could be because our smoke detector battery decided to die at 2AM the night before.  And, due to the fact that Hugo has a space heater in his room, I was sufficiently freaked out to not be able to fall back asleep for several more hours, after checking to make sure everything was okay (it was).  Grrr...

But, all went well with 2B.  It is a very quick treatment - only 10 minutes long.  Of course, they never make it that simple.  After you check-in for treatment it takes 45min to an hour for them to mix your Chemo up fresh and personal just for you.  And, during that time we met with the Genetics Counselor.  This was a very interesting meeting.  Jessi was such a nice, beautiful, young, smart person...it seemed kind of incongruent with what we were talking about.  As she said, she has to say, "'It sucks' with a smile".  Which she did very well.  I appreciated her sense of humor as well as that of my cohorts in crime, Matt and Cathy, as my Chemo buddies for the day.  But, the information is a little overwhelming...to say the least.

Basically, the next step for me is to get genetically tested.  You have probably heard Angelina Jolie's hype about BRCA and why she chose to get an elective double-mastectomy.  This could apply to me as well if I test positive.  Of course, they are testing for other things as well, so it is kind of mixed bag.  I am not sure I want to know some of this stuff as it makes for more decision-making.

The Geneticist, of course, would like to see me test positive for BRCA because, I think, it would be convenient.  It means that she can link the Triple Negative status to something concrete and clean.  But, for me, I would prefer a negative result.  It means I can worry a bit less about my daughters, sister, mother, nieces, grandchildren!  (And, actually, the boys, too as BRCA is also associated with prostate cancer.)  It would not answer the "why" to this question, but I think I am okay with that.  There is plenty in life we will never know the why to and even though that is a very tough question in this situation, I think I can make my peace without ever knowing the why.  Especially if it means a bit more safety for all my family.

So...we will know the results of this test within the next three months; possibly three weeks if the insurance doesn't approve us for the more complicated test.  And, then there will be more to think about.  Yay!  Ha.  Not.

After this meeting, I was called in for Chemo by the cutest Big Bad Wolf ever.  Holly was also awesome.  Young and fun and willing to go along with all of our silliness.  Matt took a picture:

After the quick treatment, we met with my good friend and Dietician, Dena McDowell.  Dena is also so much fun to be around and has such great advice.  I feel so blessed that going to these treatments, can be a thing with smiles instead of tears.

Finally, we returned home.  I was, at this point, exhausted.  I went upstairs to read while the boys took their afternoon nap and instead discovered that I could not keep my eyes open.  Hugo cried and called for me, but still I could not open my eyes.  Thank God for my wonderful mother who came to my rescue.  She got the boys up, helped Matt with dinner, Linda came over, too and they got the kids into their costumes and headed out into the gloomy night for an evening of Halloween fun.  All the while, I lay in bed and relished in the peace.  Sorry, Mom, Matt, and Linda.  I know the kids are not easy, but boy was that nice for me to have a quiet evening.  Thank you.

2B done.  Yay.

Some Cuteness

Bald headed Kons boys.  Cute!

Some Awesomeness

Not only did Mrs. Mergener arrive with a scrumptious allergy-free dinner yesterday evening, she also made Matt and I matching hats!!!  SO cool!

Thank you so much, Mrs. Mergener!  We love them!!!!  (Only mine has the pink flower in it, in case that isn't clear from the photo.)

Some Awesomeness

I received a card from my friend, Jeanne Conner this weekend.  Jeanne just finished her last round of Chemo and is looking forward to beginning reconstructive surgery this Friday.  Yay Jeanne!  If you think of it, please say lots of prayers for her on Friday.  She has been a great source of information and inspiration for me.  Jeanne has two kids - Matthew (9) and Erin (7) - both born within days of my nine and seven year old!  So, we have a lot in common....well, maybe...I didn't water ski through the first five (or two) Chemo cycles like she did!  Amazing, right?!  Anyway...here are some things Jeanne said in her card that I just loved:

Card Title
Never give up hope....or chocolate. 

Words of Jeanne's I enjoyed
"I may have lost a breast, a few pounds and all my hair, but I still have lots of hope and I eat plenty of chocolate!  Those two things you can never give up!  ...so don't, ever.  If you need help remembering not to, just call me.  Love, Jeanne"

And then there was more:

"This is one of the hardest thing you will ever go through but you will get through it and be stronger because of it.  You will be scared, you will cry, you will be mad but you will still laugh, smile, sing, and go bowling.

I'm still trying to figure out why me, what is my purpose?  Because I am a nurse I figure my purpose as a survivor is to help others - that's what I do...  So my next purpose it to help raise money to help others.  Guess I'll be busy!"

Yay!  Jeanne! Isn't she awesome!  I just love her.  Thanks so much, Jeanne!  You rock and I am SO proud of you!!!!!!

Some Awesomeness

Received these beautiful flowers along with a delicious dinner from Pete and Ann Woelfel.  Thank you so much, guys!  How wonderful to get to look at this bright, happy, bouquet while eating yummy food I didn't have to cook.  I am so lucky!

 

And...when I got home from Chemo today, I had another bouquet of flowers waiting from none other than my wonderful husband.  Thank you, Matthew.  You are SO good to me.  They are beautiful and make me feel so loved after a long day of ridiculousness.  I love you!!!!!!

Cycle 2A Done!

Woo hoo!  I am finished with Cycle 2A (2B is on Thursday).  It was a loooong day.  Here's the breakdown:

- 9:40am - Labs
- 10:30am - Oncologist (but he was late, so I would say this happened at more like 11am)
- 12pm - Lunch at the health food café (I really like this place, though - it is inexpensive and pretty good).
1pm - Chemo
3:30pm - Finished!

As I am writing this I feel mostly...tired.  I don't know if this is because getting Chemo is exhausting or because Hugo woke us up at 5:15am today.  Maybe a little of both.  But...overall, I am feeling really good.  And here's why --

The tumor has already shrunk!!!  Our Oncologist (Dr. Cheng) told me that Triple Negative responds really well to this regimen and that he would expect to see the tumor shrink pretty fast, but I think even he was pleased to say that it had shrunk in HALF.  That's pretty awesome! 

So, even though Chemo would not be my choice of what to do today, I have to say that I look forward to it because it means taking action and getting rid of this nasty stuff.  And, every cycle I finish means one less cycle I have to do.  So, yay!  I am thrilled to be finished with 2A!

Sorry, I forgot to take pictures today!  I was fortunate enough to once again have some Chemo buddies.  Matt, of course, is my biggest supporter.  And, then Heather came for the first half and then switched with Jenny for the second half.  It is wonderful to get to spend time with them and they make everything brighter while I am there.  Thank you so much, girls!

Some Awesomeness

Shelley Estes showed up to my Head Shaving party with a bag full of stuff for me.  Wow, is this cool.  First off, let's start with "Jane Eyre" - sweet!  And then, "Singing in the Rain", a tea infuser and tea?!  Super-cool!  Socks, games, a journal, pens, candy and gift cards?!  Thank you so much, Shelley!  I am going to need a bigger chemo bag to fit all this!  Oddly looking forward to using a lot of this during my many hours of chemo!

Some Awesomeness

Wow, are these flowers gorgeous!  Not only are they beautiful, but they are plants, so I will get to admire them for a really long time.  How cool!  Thank you so much, Dave and Kyle Rechlicz.  That was way too generous of you!  We sure are lucky to have such caring friends.

Some Awesomeness

Holy cookies, Batman!  Thank you Dick and Darci Wutz.  I agree - cookies cure everything!  Yummm!

Chemo Costume

So, most Super-Heroes have a costume, right?  I realize this is to disguise their identity, but I think that if Super-Heroes were real, they might also admit that their costume gives them a sense of power or maybe changes them from the person they were to the person they need to be to be a Super-Hero. 

Lately, lots of people have been calling me "brave" and "strong" or even telling me I am an "inspiration".  Whoa.  Weird.  I don't think I would call it any of those things.  I would say I am doing what I have to do to keep on doing what I want to do.  Which is, of course, to be here for my family; to raise my children; to be the only thing I ever really wanted to be - Mom.  (Well, maybe I should add a disclaimer here.  I am a Gryffindor, so by that definition I am a person who values bravery, but just because you value it, doesn't mean you always have it.)

Well, when I read that looking good will help you to feel good while getting through chemo, I knew I was going to have to start wearing makeup.  Another irony, in my opinion - I don't wear makeup on any kind of consistent basis other than weddings, special occasions, or date night (so rare) - so why, cancer, did you pick me?!  But, I digress...point being - I was thrilled when Cathy asked me if I would like to go and get my makeup done.  A.k.a. get some new makeup and learn how to use it.

To me, this new look will be my "Chemo Costume".  The thing that gives me a sense of power or maybe changes me from the person I am to the person I need to be - brave and strong and tough and a little bit crazy.  I hope you like my new look.  Cathy and J.J. helped to pick it out (and pay for it - you ridiculous people!!!!).  I hope it turns me into my alter-ego, super-hero self.  Oh, and did you doubt I had a name all picked out - Princess Buttercup, of course!

Some Awesomeness

Having no hair, means having a cold head.  So, it's not like I am just covering my head to hide the lack of hair.  I am covering my head to keep myself warm!  That being said, here's the hat I choose for when I sit at the computer to post to the blog:

Go Gryffindors!  Thanks, Linda for the awesome hat!!!

Head Shaving Party

Please, please, please do not be offended if I did not invite you to my Head Shaving Party!  I asked my Book Club if they would like to come and help me with this "project" and then added a few school friends, and of course family, and that was 19 people!  I am sorry that I could not have more of you there, but I hope you will still be in Kelly's Army!

So....yeah...the chemo people told me Day 14 was when my hair would start to come out.  That would've been Monday evening.  So, it was actually a relief to me when I pulled out quite a bit of hair on Tuesday morning, because I had planned a Head Shaving Party for that evening.  I am not the kind of person to mourn over each strand of hair pulled out and decided to take control and just get it all over with at once.  Of course, when the time came, I wasn't quite ready for them to take the shaving cream and Bic to my head, but we did shave off my hair as low as you can go with the clippers.

Get ready for lots of photos.

Linda had t-shirts made for the occasion!

 Jen Stilling gave me some pink Mommy wine.  I am not allowed to have alcohol, but am glad the others could enjoy this!

 

J.J. was given the t-shirt she is wearing, so we are showing we can fight like girls.

 

 Sue Brandel, who has been so wonderful to us!

 My sister-in-law, Carrie Kons.  Her husband (Matt's brother, Mark) shaved his head, too!

Jenny R., Matt, and I.  Jenny R. is the source of "Suck it up, Buttercup!"  Love it!

Most of the Kons girls (Nora is missing)

 

 One of the coolest things about the party was that I had asked if anyone wanted a pink streak in their hair.  Almost everyone said "Yes!"  So, there was lots of hair dyeing going on throughout the evening.  Here Kyrie is with a streak bleached first.

Then, pinked up and washed out.

 

And, the end result!  Cute!

 

 Right before we did the deed, we took a group photo.

 Declan took the first snip out of my hair.

 Lari was next.  Did Kyrie not cut my hair???

 Here I am with really short, badly cut hair.

 Matt "getting after it" with the clippers

 Lari's turn.

 Kyrie with the clippers!

 Looking tough with this interesting haircut.

 Jessi adds the final touches.

Matt's turn!

 

 Uhhh...yuck?!

 Half a head of hair.

 Kyrie takes a turn.

Daddy as an ice cream sunday.

 Jenny R. did the final touches for Matt.  I wasn't comfortable with the Bic razor.

 Finished!

 The after photos.

 

Here is Miss Jessi VanHaren, who worked so hard dyeing 15 people's worth of hair.  Sadly, she said I was the eighth person whose head she has helped to shave due to breast cancer.  But, happily, all seven are cancer-free.  I can't wait to be a part of her perfect track record!  I was not thrilled that she would not accept any money from me for all of the work she did, but I really appreciate what a wonderful gift she gave me and my friends!

 

Some Awesomeness

I received this poem in a card today from Keith and Dede Marty and thought it was a good one:

"The Oak Tree"

A mighty wind blew night and day.
It stole the oak tree's leaves away,
Then snapped it boughs and pulled its bark
Until the oak was tired and stark.
But still the oak tree held its ground
While other trees fell all around.
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
"How can you still be standing, Oak?"
The oak tree said, "I know that you
Can break each branch of mine in two,
Carry every leaf away,
Shake my limbs, and make me sway,
But I have roots stretched in the earth,
Growing stronger since my birth.
You'll never touch them, for you see,
They are the deepest part of me.
Until today, I wasn't sure
Of just how much I could endure.
But now I've found, thanks to you,
I'm stronger than I ever knew."

I kind of feel bad for the person who wrote that poem - they receive no credit on the card for it. But, I liked it a lot and will be reaching out to my inner-oak tree.  Thank you, Martys!

Irony in a Bottle

The last time I went in for a haircut (I cancelled my last appt. which was supposed to be two weeks ago now), I purchased this large bottle of shampoo.  They were having a sale and a large bottle was less expensive than the equivalent small bottles.  Hmmm...saving money seems to have cost me money, since the next time I will be using this shampoo is likely to be May...or June...or July.  I believe this is the definition of irony.  Well, only because I can laugh about it, I guess.  Ridiculous.

Some Awesomeness

Oh my gosh, can you believe this?

 

The Brandel Family has been so good to ours - the most important thing they do is include Kyrie in lots of activities with their family, but they have also made us a meal, brought me soup, a wonderful handmade shawl, ice cream and sorbet for the boys...  Oh my goodness I can't even recount the number of things they have done!  So, I cannot believe they did more.  This is so beautiful, though.  We almost can't bring ourselves to eat it.  Almost.  (The girls had "Faith" as an afterschool snack on Friday.)  Thank you so much, Sue, Bob, and Amy.  You are so good to us!  Thank you.

Some Awesomeness

This soup appeared in my fridge last Saturday while I was taking a much-needed afternoon nap.  This is the second batch of soup Cathy has made for me, and let me tell you, she is an excellent soup-maker.  Thank you, Cathy!

 

 

The Burleigh Elementary School Secretary, Missy Petersdorf, made me Matzo Ball Soup!  My favorite thing about it - she said it was made with "Lots of love and Jewish penicillin."  SO cool!  It was delicious!  And exactly what I needed that day!

 



Some Awesomeness

Matt's good friend and exercise buddy, Jim Heberer, recently had surgery on his ankle.  After receiving his cast, he had another friend (a tattoo artist, I believe) create this on his cast.  Wow!  That's dedication!!!!

 

Some Awesomeness

 Lariska and Grandma painted pumpkins.  Lari's has an especial artistic touch.

Jenny Wilde baked an apple pie that I fear Matt stole from their house.  Matt raved about this pie so much, that despite an unhappy tummy I had to try it.  Ummm...he was not joking.  It was incredibly delicious.  My tummy had no problems with it whatsoever.